Letter from Kyoto

Your life

Junnosuke Yoshiyuki, the famous novelist who died a few years ago, once failed in the examination of a junior high school and failed to meet expectations of everyone who knew him. He had been believed to be a bright person. When he confessed this to his father, he said nothing but said 'is that so?' instead, Junnosuke, the son, was confused with his father's attitude and asked if he had nothing more to say as a father. Then the father answered, 'No, I have nothing to say. It is your life, isn't it? I don't know what to day. Doesn't this answer satisfy you?'
Now that my two children are facing their life tasks. I want to believe in their ability to accomplish the task. This is not to say I am not interested in their lives but though I am ready to help them if necessary I am determined not to interfere with their tasks.

The Power of Anecdotes

Many disciples of Adler were sent to the concentration camps during the war. One of his disciples, Alfred Farau, writes about a little story which Adler told again and again. It was the story of the two frogs of Aesop (Manaster et al, Alfred Adler:As We Remember Him, pp.45-6).
'Two frogs jumped around the rim of a pot filled with milk. Suddenly they both fell into the milk. One of them cried, 'That's the end of me,' and, croaking, made ready to drown. The other did not give up. He kicked and kicked until he felt solid ground under his feet once more. What had happened? The milk had turned into butter.'
He says,
'Unbelievable as it may sound, during the time of my stay in the concentration camp of Dachau, I was able to shake many people out of their apathy by telling them this little story.'
Adlerian psychology recommends neither pessimism nor optimism. Those who take a pessimistic attitude in the face of adversity might perish because they do nothing in order to survive.
On the other hand those who take an optimistic attitude also might perish because they tend to regard everything as advantageous while it is not advantageous at all. They think that their optimistic belief can carry them through. They do nothing. In order for the frogs to survive in a pot filled with milk, it was absolutely necessary first of all to grasp the situation rightly without taking it pessimistically or optimistically. And then they had to do what they could do at the moment without relinquishing hopes.
It is very interesting that anecdotes encourage us. I like to tell anecdotes in my lectures or counseling. This is because I believe in the power of anecdotes.
One day a woman came to express her gratitude after I finished my lecture. She told me that she was very surprised to hear one of the episodes I told in my lecture. She had heard this story before from a friend of hers who attended my lecture. The story I told in my lecture is as follows.
The tragic accident took a life of a boy of seven years old. Falling into a incinerator he was burned alive to death. As the body had not been identified at once, the principal of our school called me up to ask me to make sure that pupils had come home safe. I was a member of parent-teacher association at that time.
'Has your child come home?'
'Yes, he(she) has...but what's the matter?'
Then I explained the accident. Though I could not see the faces of the parents, it was apparent that they were all terribly shocked at the news of this accident. It was certain that they found it fortunate that their son/daughter were alive (It is needless to say that they pitied the boy in his misfortunes).
The woman who came to me after the lecture thought when she heard this story that it was an unusual accident. But two days later her son got seriously injured in a traffic accident. He was unconscious for a few days after the accident. She remembered the story she heard from a friend of hers. Then she thought that her son was alive though he was seriously injured and unconscious. Bringing this story to mind again and again while she was attending her son in the hospital, she tried to encourage herself. She told me that if she had not heard the episode she would not have overcome many difficulties she and her son had to face after the accident.

Don't we need efforts when we do what we like to do?

The other day I happened to find the essay I wrote many years ago. Now my son is 18 years old. The essay is on a happening when he was in the third grade at elementary school.

Now my son is in the sixth grade at elementary school. Nowadays he does not need my help, so I feel bored. The other day when I arranged my floppy disks, I happened to find an old one, where I recorded my son's life 3 years ago, when he was in the third grade.

Those days I wrote some essays for newsletters that were published once a month with some friends. These newsletters were the good places to express my ordinary life and daily feelings. One day I hit on a special happenning to remember and to write an essay about.

On that day, he came home with his report card of 2nd term, saying ' Look, dad, grades are to improve more and more greatly. ' At the end of the paper he handed to me, his homeroom teacher wrote some comments about my son.

At school, once I announced ' Let's time ourselves on the 50 meters run!', he said quickly, ' O.K. First can I practice running fast over there!' When I said ' Today we'll learn how to use small knives, he said ' O.K. May I practice using it by myself during a break?' He was always curious about anything around him, was very courageous and tried anything by himself.

Besides, the teacher added a message from the bottom of his heart:

My favorite student, you let me remember that studying is not something that others force us to do, but something we enjoy the pleasure of having an opportunity to do. Keep what you feel, the feeling of wonderment, or curiosity in mind. Don't lose them even when you are growing up. From your teacher

To be frank, I was delightful to come to be in this present social state, or get this job, in other words, to become a teacher...because I could have a brilliant chance to meet you.

I had had the opportunity to talk with that homeroom teacher before, when she visited pupils' houses. Her visit to our house was the last one on that day, so he could afford to stay at my home mentally as well as physically. We had a frank and interesting talk about not only my son but also the teacher's life. We talked for two and half hours. She said,

To tell the truth, I had another job before, but I was told that I was not suitable for that job, so I quitted. For a while, I was puzzled, at a loss, and didn't know what to do. But finally I was determined to get the qualification to become an elementary school teacher. That is how I am here .

She experienced two careers; first she worked for a company as an officeworker, failed, and now she is a school teacher. He saw his life from different social statuses, from different points of view, and different ways of thinking. She felt her own life was quite different from that of a general school teacher, so she had an inferiority complex and tended to see herself as being beneath other teachers. For example, whatever something happened at school, she would think to herself;

Do I belong here? Is this place right for me? Do I have the right to be here as a teacher?

She hadn't had much self-confidence before she met my son.

A few years ago, I had a chance to teach English to a high school girl, who wished to become a pianist. She had been playing the piano since she was 3 years old. I wondered if she had felt reluctant to play the piano during these 10 years, so one day I dared to ask her;

Have you ever thought about giving up the piano?
Never. Not even once.
Oh, well, how about having to practice hard every day? Does this bother you?
Definitely not.

I don't think she was born with a special gift as a pianist. The circumstances were that she could concentrate on performing the piano without being forced by anyone. Her dedication to the piano was born from the purity of her heart, not from the will of others.

We don't always need coercion or motivation to do those things which we enjoy. I guess many of you might be surprised to hear that, but I dare say this could be the truth. Many teachers and parents tend to regard studying as a kind of burden or as being unenjoyable. They have romanticized the idea of endurance. However, don't you think it is they, the grown-ups, who have forgotten about the joyful, shining curiosity when encountering new things and learning new ways?

Adler said, 'Everybody can accomplish everything.' But at that time as this idea was criticized, he was oblized to modify it, saying that this should not be interpreted literally. It seems that Adler himself aknowledged ability is not limitless, for, as is well known, he often pointed out that what is important is always the use which is made of inherited material.

The other day, my son said suddenly, 'I want to play catch.' He had never said a word about playing sports before, so I wondered what had happened to him, but anyway, we went to the shop and bought baseball gloves for my son and myself. I had three gloves I had used when I was a child, but I didn't have any idea where I kept them. 'It is about 30 years since I played catch last', I thought to myself, remembering good memories in my childhood.

However, it wasn't really so long ago that I last had played catch. I remembered playing catch with my first students in the high school playground when I was a student teacher. That memory was as unforgettable and precious as any of my childhood.

That day my son and I bought two pairs of gloves and happily brought them home. We couldn't wait to begin playing catch, so in the evening of that day, we started practicing in the playground.

That was the first time for my son to wear gloves. He looked excited and happy to have the opportunity to encounter new things.

As is often the case with him, he said, 'Can I practice by myself?'
He threw balls again and again at the net set up around the ground and he was trying to find the best way to throw balls. His earnest attitude toward working on new things made me admire him.

'May I give you a piece of advice ?'
'Sure.'
'I suppose you should always remember where you are throwing the ball. Concentrate on the target. Now you are only trying to throw fast, so the balls don't go to one target. When you can concentrate on the target, you will throw to one point. Then, even if you are not conscious of throwing balls, the balls go to one target from your hand naturally.'
'O.K. thanks. I 'll try it'

Then he continued throwing balls again and again until the sun set.
I remembered what the elementary school teacher had written about my son:

You let me remember that studying is not something that others force us to do, but something we enjoy the pleasure of having an opportunity to do. Keep what you feel, the feeling of wonderment, or curiosity in mind. Don't lose them even when you are growing up.

Downfall (Der Untergang)

I watched Downfall (Der Untergang), which depicts the last 12 days of Adolf Hitler who killed himself at last. The reason why this movie seems to lack the tone of criticism is that what happened is seen from the viewpoint of Junge, Hitler's secretary, who never found her commitment to the Nazi party was something for which she had to be responsible.

At the end of the movie, Junge appears on the screen. She said, 'I had thought that I was not responsible personally.' (Ich hatte gedanken, dass ich persoenlich keine Schuld habe) But this, as she knew later, was a mistake. She could not make decision herself at the decisive moment in her life. She just let the rain fall as it were without doing anything herself. She was obliged to admit that being young could not be an alibi. Her confession seemed to force me to see the movie I had just seen from a different point of view.

What impressed me most in the movie was Magda Goebbels' madness which was shown in her behavior after the suicide of Hitler. She poisoned her six children one after another without showing any emotional confusion. I do not think Magda can escape the responsibilty for her act just because it was in the war time but without war the Goebbels could have lived a happy life.

Downfall

My translation

Now that my translation of Edward Hoffman's The Drive for Self (its Japanese title is Life of Alfred Adler) has been published, I do hope it will sell many copies.

It was long ago when I first received an e-mail of Edward one day, in which he asked me to translate his work into Japanese to my surprise. He must not have known me though I was writting messages on Adlerian psychology in my webpage at the time. Later after exchanging many mails he came to Japan to give several lectures. I acted as interpreter.

The publisher sent several presentational copies before publication. For a friend of mine who has long supported me devotedly while I was transltating the bulky work into Japanese, I sent a copy of the translation with a word of dedication. Somehow my right hand quivered when I wrote her name and a phrase of Plato in Greek. I could not have completed the translation without her help.

Dialogue on death

This morning the priest whom I have known since he was a child came to us to recite sutras in honor of the sprits of my ancestors. Sutras he chants at Bon, the Festival of Soul, are usually very short. He has to visit many supporting member of his temple (Danka in Japanese) in a day or two. He seemed very timid, which discouraged me from asking him complicated questions. So I asked him how old his sons were and how he was lately. I told him to take care of himself. I knew he got ill through stresses and strains last summer.

I remembered that French president Mitterand, when he got seriously ill and knew that his days were numbered, called on Jean Gitton, who was a Catholic philosopher. Guitton was 93 years old at the time. The reason Mitterand felt like meeting Guitton was that he wanted to know what death is and where he was about to go, whether he would have everalastin life after death.

I found this story interesting because it seems to be unlikely that we should call on philosophers to discuss such problems before death. Can the priests answer to these questions then? I am afraid many of them can't.

I talked with my mother about death when she was sick in bed. I was glad that he listened to me earnestly though I was young. I wish I could be a philosopher who can talk about death with people who are going to die. Jean Guitton died at the age of 97 in 1999. Mitterand was 80 years old he died in 1996.

Bon, the Festival of Soul

Bon, the Festival of Soul, is a Buddhist festival in honor of the spirits of the dead who return to their families. It is held from August 13 to 16. The date may differ depending on the area. Though few people observe the ritual rigidly nowadays, spirits of ancestors are welcomed by an open-air fire and on the night of 16, they are seen off to the another world. Such belief may be unscientific but it is natural that those who lost their loved ones should wish their return to them.

This is exactly what I wished when my mother died at the age of 49. Now I do not believe that the deceased lives in another world.

In my understanding they can be here in this world at any moment they wish. When we remember the deceased, they appear in sight or at least we can feel their existence. A friend of mine once told me that she felt the presence of her beloved vividly. She was listening to the radio, when she noticed the song which he loved very much was being played. She then spoke to him, 'This is the song you like.' On speaking to him, she had to notice that he had died for many months. Though I cannot discuss here in detail at the moment, I believe that when we remember the deceased it is the deceased in person and not the copy or the image of her/him that we remember.

Dissolving of the lower house

As the postal privatization bills did not pass the upper house, the lower house of parliament has been dissolved and Prime Minister Koizumi called for an election instead of offering his resignation. The privating of postal service may be an important problem but I do not believe that it is worthy of dissolving the house. at this time. It cannot be the issue of the election.

The reason why the bills did not pass the upper house was that Liberal Democrat Party(LDP) divided over the postal privatization, which may result in the dropping of government.

Is it not natural that some of LDP should oppose the bill? It is said Mr Koizumi would bar those who voted against him from running on the LDP ticket. One member even killed himself before the bills were rejected probably because of strain of stress over this problem. A series of incidents gives an illusion that what has been happening is a rivary between gangstars.

The sky in 1945

The color of the sky is different from those I have seen in foreign countries.' I remember what a friend of mine who had just returned from Tahichi said. It was April and the cherry blossoms were at their best then. They were beautiful indeed against the blue sky.

On August 6 the atomic bomb was dropped, which killed many people in Hiroshima instantly. It is said that bomber looked even beautiful against the blue sky.

Victims of the atomic bomb included many children, who could not have been responsible for the war at all. Was the damage brought about as the result of bombing collateral? The damage was too great to be collateral.

From the beginning the assumption that there are issues that can only be solved force is not true at all. Any problems can be solved without recourse to forces. No one should not be killed in the war.

Don't fall asleep

Probably for the first time in my life I enjoyed listening to the songs of Miyuki Nakajima. Songs I listened to are in her album 'Starring' (Daiginmaku).

Tapestry(Ito). You are a vertical thread. I am a horizontal thread. When one meets the right thread we call such meeting happiness. As Nakajima sings it is surprising that you and I have met all the more because we had had different histories before we met so far away from each other.

Don't Fall Asleep (Nemuranaide). I love this tunes. I listened to it again and again. As I hear Nakajima sing I feel very sleepy. Don't fall asleep. Let's keep on walking on and on without understanding where we begin falling into our dream. It can't be our dream that we have met. In my arms your heart still pounds. If this were what happend in our dream, let's keep on dreaming forever.