I sometimes think that I should delete what I wrote about my disease from the profile. It is almost two years since I got sick and was taken to the hospital by ambulance. Many of my friend, with whom I got acquainted while I was in hospital, have returned to their works already. Nowadays thanks to the progress of the medicine we can leave the hospital in a month in the case of cardiac infarction. When I had a bypass surgery the next year I was forced by my doctor to walk on the third day after the surgery and left the hospital on the tenth day. Everyone surprised and I myself was not an exception. It is true that we can recover physically but I think it takes much time to recover mentally. I will write about this meaning later but let me say mention one thing. It was the experience of, as it were, having a glimpse of death which have made it difficult to return to the same life as I had lived before. I just had a glimpse of death and never died but that experience was enough. In order to make my experience meaningful and to be able to think that this experience was good for me it seems that I have to go on thinking about it for some time (or for ever). This is my destiny as a philosopher. My doctor said to me, “You survived, it is true, but what you lost is great as well.’ What have I lost? Work, honor, money and so on. But isn’t there anything I got?
Yesterday I went to the botanical garden which is not only ten minutes’ walk. There are only a few kinds of flower which are now blooming. Nevertheless or rather because of the scantiness I found it very difficult to find them in not so wide garden though I visited it three successive days.
Monika, living in the moment has become important for me because I now realize that I can be happy only here and now. There is no postponing the happiness. It is true that I must have known this but it is serious problem when it is no longer certain that I can live long. In spite of this or rather because of this how we can be happy was the main theme of the book which I wrote in 2002.
Posted by: Ichiro | March 13, 2008 at 07:36 AM
I am very sure that we not only lose but at the same time gain - new insights, new ways of evaluation of our own situation and life, new appreciation for the small pleasures on our very own way, and much more. And, probably, also the ability to live in the moment.
Posted by: monika | March 13, 2008 at 07:06 AM